


Always By Your Side

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Post-Here Lies the Abyss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10042532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: Fenris tracks down Hawke on his journey to Weisshaupt.





	

Thinking things over, Hawke realized that he probably had made a mistake in saying he’d go to Weisshaupt. He had never been much of a fan of the Wardens. The discovery that they were foolish enough to become the pawns of a darkspawn magister only made that stronger. Sure, they’d taken in Carver after he’d contracted the darkspawn taint, but Stroud had kept Carver’s survival a mystery for far too long, not allowing the younger Hawke to even send word for a good month after his Joining. Not to mention the way the Wardens had simply left Kirkwall to the Qunari for some mystery mission that was not for the ‘civilians’ to understand.

Warden secrets. Hadn’t everything with Corypheus been a prime example of why the Wardens keeping secrets was nothing but a disaster for all? Everything the Wardens did that they kept secret seemed only to inevitably blow up in their faces.

Maybe that was why Hawke was doing this – he had been on the wrong end of Warden secrets enough times that if anyone had the right to call them out, Hawke was certainly one of the leading contenders. Flames, considering that the Wardens had blackmailed his father into binding Corypheus in the Vinmark Mountains, bindings that only lasted about thirty years... Yeah, the Wardens were much less competent than they wanted the rest of the world to believe, clearly.

His thoughts moved to Stroud. The Warden had been particularly unpleasant – Hawke had never corrected his impression that they were friends, but Hawke himself had never lost sight of the fact that they were truly just an alliance of convenience, Hawke having known no other Warden with any authority, given that Carver had effectively abandoned the Wardens in coming to Hawke’s aid in Kirkwall. Hawke had figured playing nice with Stroud would help protect Carver if the Wardens ever sought to respond to his desertion from their ranks. Anders might have gotten away with running away, but, given that the man had blown up a Chantry, he probably wasn’t the example to follow, and the Wardens might have decided to reconsider just letting people go because of him.

The journey wasn’t particularly worthwhile in terms of sights. The closer Hawke drew to the heart of the Anderfels, where the Wardens based themselves, the more he mulled over the events at Adamant, the more he wanted to simply tell the First Warden exactly where he could stick his swords. If he didn’t think that someone needed to give the Wardens a good whack upside the head, he’d abandon this journey entirely.

And go back to face the music with Fenris.

That was a conversation he was more than a little afraid of having. He’d left in the middle of the night, with only a letter for Fenris to tell him that he was leaving for a while, going where Fenris couldn’t follow. He still didn’t know how Fenris hadn’t tracked him, followed him, and inflicted severe bodily harm on him for leaving him behind. Sure, Hawke had taken Varric’s letter with him, preventing Fenris from getting to see the path he’d be taking, but Fenris was tenacious, a dog with a bone. Hawke leaving him for resolving some lasting grudge against a darkspawn magister... He was not going to be happy.

Speaking of, in addition to his lover, Hawke missed his dog. Dade was getting older, though aside from his muzzle going grey and a slight touch of arthritis, had not been showing it too much. Hawke had had Dade as his constant companion for a good fifteen years now. Mabari could live good, long lives, and even though Dade had been the runt of the litter, Hawke was certain that his trusty mabari could last for another decade, maybe two. But he still felt strange wandering around the corners of Thedas without either of the two companions that he knew he’d always consider a part of his life. 

He paused as the thought of his dog seemed to make him hear the sound of a dog...

He wasn’t imagining things.

Hawke grabbed his staff, concerned that he was hearing approaching wolves – he’d noticed an uptick of them since the last time he’d truly crossed large stretches of land, though, he would admit, that had been closer to the Blight than now. He felt the mana pulse into the staff, the one-time key to Corypheus’s prison, and felt it crackle with electricity. He was ready for a threat.

And then, from across a hill, came a bounding ball of fur and muscle.

Hawke had barely registered that the approaching figure was none other than Dade than he was knocked over by the eighty plus pound mabari. 

He couldn’t help but laugh as Dade bounced on him, giving him a series of enthusiastic licks, drenching Hawke’s face in a layer of dog drool. It took a few minutes to untangle himself from the very excited mabari. And when he managed to pull himself back to his feet...

Hawke wasn’t expecting the punch, but he wasn’t surprised by it.

“You. Arsehole,” Fenris growled out. “How dare you leave me like that?!”

Again pulling himself back to his feet, Hawke rubbed at his jaw. Fenris had a mean right hook. “Hello, Fenris. I... take it Varric got a letter to you?”

The hood of Fenris’s cloak only made Fenris’s scowl more pronounced. Hawke knew that the other man’s anger was born of his concern for Hawke, which meant he wouldn’t kill him. That said, Fenris was definitely creative enough to find a way to make Hawke wish he were dead. “How could you abandon me, Hawke?” he demanded. 

The accusation stung, though Hawke knew he deserved it. “It wasn’t like that Fenris. You know that. I... I felt responsible. I had to do this. Alone. Because I... I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. And it so easily could have... Corypheus-”

“Was not your responsibility. The Wardens blackmailed your father into helping them, threatened your mother’s life. I was there, Hawke. I fought Corypheus at your side once before. You had no right to keep me from doing so again.” Then Fenris’s gaze softened as he grabbed Hawke’s arm, as if assuring himself that his lover was still there. “What if I’d lost you? Hawke... How could you do that to me? I’ve lost everything I knew twice before. How could you put me through that fear again?”

That made Hawke feel worse than ever, and, he could admit, rightly so. He loved Fenris with all his heart, and in his feelings of guilt about Corypheus, he’d forgotten entirely what Fenris had been through before, losing his memories and then being ordered to kill the Fog Warriors. Losing his home, his place in the world, twice over... Hawke was an asshole.

“I know,” he said. He couldn’t defend his choice to run off and face Corypheus without Fenris, and they both knew it. “I... I acted entirely without thinking.” Hawke took a small step towards Fenris, closing the gap between the two of them, reaching up and ghosting a hand over Fenris’s cheek, knowing how he felt about being touched, knowing that actually touching him while he was angry would be a mistake. “Is there anything I can do to... to earn your forgiveness?”

Fenris was silent for a long moment, as if he were examining Hawke for his response. After a long moment, he met Hawke’s gaze. “Never do this to me again, Hawke. Never. If something like this ever comes up again, you and I face it together, or not at all.”

“I swear to you, Fenris. From now on, where I go, you go. No question.” 

The glare that Fenris was giving him softened just slightly, in that way that only those who knew him well enough could tell. “Hawke...” Then he pulled Hawke close, burying his face in the crook of Hawke’s neck. Hawke’s arms wrapped around his lover, knowing that, though not forgiven, he had weathered the worst of Fenris’s anger, and now...

Now there was just the relief of his survival.

At their feet, Dade nudged at both of their feet, as if a gentle reminder that yes, he was still there. Hawke gave his dog a brief smile before giving his attention back to Fenris. “Fenris... I am sorry.”

“I received a letter from Varric. Saying you went into the Fade. Faced a creature of nightmares. That the Warden was left to hold it off.” He paused a moment. “And I got the distinct impression from him that you went there... wanting to die.”

Wanting to die? Hawke wouldn’t have put it that way. But... He had certainly volunteered to fight the Nightmare in the Fade. To stay behind. And that had been almost certainly a death sentence. He had never spoken of it as such, but then, to speak of it would have been admitting that he... he had wanted that. That his feelings of guilt regarding Corypheus had led him to believe that he should sacrifice himself in an effort at making it right. 

Feeling Fenris in his arms reminded him how truly foolish that idea was. He had something – someone – to stay alive for. That was worth staying alive for, if nothing else was. He had lost sight of that, more focused on the fact that he had been the one to let Corypheus out of his prison. He’d taken that as reason to blame himself. But he had plenty else to live for.

That plenty else was in his arms right now.

Attempting to put the worst of those emotions in a box and pushing it away, Hawke attempted to smile. “If the templars, the Chantry, the darkspawn, the Orlesians, and the drinks at the Hanged Man couldn’t kill me, why would some Fade creature?” he said with a laugh. His humor didn’t reach his eyes, but he could tell that Fenris appreciated the attempt at normalcy.

“So... Do you mind explaining why I found you here, walking this lonely path?” Fenris finally asked, his voice strengthening as he spoke, making it sound almost normal.

“More responsibility. Since Stroud was the ranking Grey Warden and he sacrificed himself to the Nightmare... I felt I should tell the Wardens at Weisshaupt know what happened.”

For a moment, Fenris was silent. Then he pulled back from Hawke’s embrace, scratching behind Dade’s ears in the process. “I see.”

Hawke was quiet for a heartbeat. Then he smiled at Fenris. “It’s a long journey yet from here to the Anderfels. I could use some company.”

Fenris smirked. “Well. I suppose a late invitation is better than none.”

With that, the three began their journey towards Weisshaupt.

**Author's Note:**

> For someone who considers this one of his OTPs, I really don't seem to write much of these two. Here, let me amend that some!
> 
> And yeah, taking the letter and running in the dead of night is the only explanation I can come up with that doesn't have Fenris tracking Hawke down before Here Lies The Abyss. Which is honestly just really shitty of Hawke, I expected better of him.


End file.
